One of the reasons I like using celebrity stories in these articles is not because I care all that much about celebrity gossip. It is because these stories are familiar enough that people understand them quickly, and they often raise the same legal issues that come up in regular families every day. The people involved may be famous, and the headlines may be bigger, but the underlying estate planning lessons are usually the same.
The recent reports that Jelly Roll filed for divorce from Bunnie XO after nearly ten years of marriage are a good example. I do not know either of them, obviously, and I am not commenting on their relationship or what may or may not happen next. But any time there is a high-profile divorce, it is a useful reminder of something that applies to everyone: when your marriage is ending, your estate plan needs to be reviewed right away.
That is true whether you are famous or not. It is true whether your estate is worth millions of dollars or whether you simply own a house, have retirement accounts, and want to make sure your children are protected. Divorce is one of the biggest life changes a person can go through, and your estate plan should not be left sitting on the shelf as though nothing has changed.
Separation and Divorce Are Not the Same Thing
The mistake a lot of people make is assuming that separation and divorce are basically the same thing. They are not.
From a practical standpoint, the relationship may be over. The spouses may be living apart. The family may know that the marriage is done. The financial lives may already be moving in different directions. There may be lawyers involved, court dates scheduled, and negotiations taking place. Everyone may understand that the marriage is ending.
But legally, until the divorce is final, that spouse may still have rights. Even worse, your existing estate planning documents may still give that spouse control or benefits that no longer match what you would want.
That is where estate plans can become dangerous if they are not updated.
Your will, trust, power of attorney, health care proxy, life insurance, retirement accounts, and beneficiary designations may all still name your spouse. That may have made perfect sense when the documents were signed. In fact, it probably did. Most married couples name each other because, at the time, that is exactly what they want. The problem is that life changes, and if the documents do not change with it, the old plan can control the new situation.
This is especially important during a separation, because many people are in a strange legal middle ground. Emotionally, the relationship may be over. Legally, the marriage may still be very much alive. That gap between real life and the legal documents is where expensive and painful mistakes happen.
We Have Seen This Happen in Real Life
We had a client situation that shows exactly how serious this can be. The client died during a separation, before the divorce was finalized, and because the estate plan had not been updated, the spouse received everything.
That was not what the family expected, and based on the circumstances, it was not what the client would have wanted at that stage of his life. But estate planning does not operate based on what everyone assumes someone “would have wanted.” It operates based on the documents in place and the law that applies at the time of death.
That is the part people do not always appreciate. Your family may know your wishes. Your children may know your relationship with your spouse had changed. Your friends may know you were separated. Your lawyer in the divorce case may know the marriage was ending. But if your estate planning documents were never changed, those documents may still speak louder than everyone else.
And once someone dies, it is often too late to fix the problem.
That is why waiting until the divorce is over can be such a costly mistake. Divorces can take months or even years, and a lot can happen during that time. People get sick. Accidents happen. Stress levels are high. Life does not pause while the divorce lawyers work through the process. If something happens before the divorce is final, an outdated estate plan can leave the wrong person in charge or send assets to the wrong place.
Updating an Estate Plan During Divorce Is Not Just About Who Gets the Money
When most people think about estate planning after divorce, they immediately think about who receives the assets. That is important, of course, but it is only one part of the issue.
A properly updated estate plan also addresses who is in charge if you are alive but unable to make decisions for yourself. That may be even more important during a separation or divorce.
For example, who is named as your health care agent? If you are in the hospital and cannot make medical decisions, is your spouse still the person legally authorized to speak for you? Would that still be appropriate? Would your family members agree? Would it create conflict at exactly the worst possible time?
The same issue applies to your power of attorney. If your spouse is named as your agent, that person may have authority over financial matters if you become incapacitated. That could include dealing with bank accounts, bills, real estate, insurance, and other financial issues. Again, that may have made perfect sense when the marriage was strong. It may not make sense once the marriage is ending.
Then there is the issue of who serves as trustee, personal representative, or executor. If your spouse is still named in those roles, he or she may be the person in charge of administering your trust or estate. Even if the spouse does everything legally and properly, that may still create tension, distrust, and unnecessary conflict with children or other family members.
These are not small details. These are the people who would have legal authority during some of the most difficult moments your family could face.
Beneficiary Designations Are Often the Biggest Trap
Beneficiary designations are another major area people forget about. This is one of the most common estate planning mistakes after divorce or separation.
Retirement accounts, life insurance policies, annuities, and certain bank or investment accounts may pass outside of your will or trust. That means updating the will alone may not be enough. If the beneficiary form still names your spouse, that form may control where the money goes.
This is where people get into trouble because they assume their will controls everything. It usually does not.
For example, if your will says your assets go to your children, but your life insurance policy still names your spouse as beneficiary, the life insurance company is generally going to look at the beneficiary form. The same concept often applies to IRAs, 401(k)s, and other retirement accounts. These assets can be some of the largest assets a person owns, and yet they are often controlled by a form that was filled out years earlier and never reviewed again.
That is why an estate plan review during divorce should include more than just the documents in the binder. You need to look at the whole picture: the trust, the will, the health care proxy, the power of attorney, the retirement accounts, the life insurance, the jointly owned property, and any payable-on-death or transfer-on-death designations.
If the plan is not coordinated, the result can be very different from what you intended.
Divorce Does Not Always Automatically Fix the Problem
Another dangerous assumption is that divorce automatically fixes everything. Sometimes, after a divorce is final, the law may revoke certain provisions for a former spouse. But that is not something you should rely on as your estate plan.
First, there is the timing problem. What happens before the divorce is final? What happens during a long separation? What happens if there is an unexpected illness, accident, or death in the middle of the process?
Second, even after the divorce, relying on automatic legal rules is not the same thing as having a clear and updated plan. Automatic rules can create confusion. They can lead to disputes. They may not apply to every asset. They may not account for beneficiary designations. They may not address who should serve in important roles if the person named in the old documents is no longer appropriate.
A good estate plan should be intentional. It should clearly say who is in charge, who receives what, and how your family should be protected. You do not want your family guessing, arguing, or hoping that a default rule fixes an old document.
Be Careful, But Do Not Ignore the Issue
This does not mean every document can be changed in every situation without limitation. Divorce proceedings may involve court orders, financial restrictions, restraining orders, or agreements that affect what can and cannot be changed. That is why this needs to be handled carefully and with proper legal advice.
But “I’ll deal with it later” is not a plan.
At the very least, you should be reviewing your estate plan and understanding exactly what would happen if you became incapacitated or passed away during the separation or divorce process. You should know who is named in your documents, who is listed on your beneficiary forms, and whether those choices still make sense.
In some cases, changes can and should be made immediately. In other cases, there may be limits on what can be changed until the divorce is complete. But either way, you should not be guessing. You should know.
That is especially true for parents. If you have minor children, adult children, children from a prior relationship, or a blended family situation, divorce can make the estate planning issues even more complicated. You may need to think carefully about who manages assets for your children, when they receive control, and how to protect them from conflict between family members. You may also need to update guardianship decisions, trustee appointments, and instructions for how assets should be used for the children’s benefit.
This is where estate planning becomes much more than “who gets my stuff.” It becomes a plan for protecting the people who depend on you.
When Should You Review Your Estate Plan?
The better approach is to treat divorce, separation, and major relationship changes as automatic estate plan review events. Just like you would review your plan after a death in the family, a major financial change, the birth of a child or grandchild, or a move to another state, you should review it when your marriage is ending.
That does not mean you need to panic. It means you need to be proactive.
If you are separated, going through a divorce, recently divorced, or even seriously considering divorce, your estate plan should be reviewed. Your documents should match your current life, not the life you had five, ten, or twenty years ago when the plan was originally signed.
The goal is not to be vindictive, and it is not about trying to hurt the other spouse. The goal is to make sure your legal plan reflects your actual wishes and protects your family from unnecessary problems.
A good estate plan is not something you sign once and forget about. It needs to evolve as your life changes. When it does not, the result can be exactly what no one wanted: conflict, confusion, legal expenses, and assets going to the wrong person.
Celebrity divorces make headlines for a few days and then the public moves on. But for regular families, the consequences of an outdated estate plan can last for years. That is why this lesson matters.
Whether the headline involves Jelly Roll and Bunnie XO or a family here in Massachusetts dealing with a private separation, the estate planning issue is the same.
Divorce is already hard enough. Your estate plan should not make it harder for the people you love.