We were on vacation in the Caribbean.
The sun was shining. The beach in Turks and Caicos was like something off a postcard, white sand, turquoise water, palm trees dancing in the breeze. My kids were still little at the time, running barefoot, laughing, digging in the sand. They had their goggles on and their floaties secured, ready to take on the waves with Dad.
And there I was, sitting in a beach chair, stuck on my cell phone, dealing with some “urgent” work issue back home. I don’t even remember what the issue was now. Probably a client call or a problem with a court deadline. I was doing what I thought I had to do, be available, be reliable, be the guy who always picks up the phone.
But every time my kids ran over to me, yelling “Come in the water, Dad!”, I’d hold up one finger. The universal signal for “Hang on, almost done.” Except I wasn’t almost done. The call dragged on. And they kept coming back, asking again and again, pleading, really, for me to come play with them.
Then, the asking stopped. They gave up. And honestly? That moment hit me harder than any angry client ever could. That silence, that quiet resignation from my kids, was worse than all the asking combined. Because what they were really saying was:
“You’re not coming. We get it.”
That was the moment. Right then and there, I made a promise. I said: Never again. Never again would work come before moments like this. Never again would I let the most important people in my life feel like they had to compete with my job. That was more than 15 years ago. And I’ve kept that promise. But I also had to build a life and a business that would allow me to keep that promise.
So here’s what I did, and what I think you might need to do, too, if you’ve ever found yourself in the same spot.
1. I Stopped Glorifying “Always Being Available”
In the early days of my practice, I wore busyness like a badge of honor. Always on call. Always responsive. Always “plugged in.” I thought that made me a better lawyer, a better business owner, even a better provider. But here’s the truth: being available 24/7 doesn’t make you a hero. It makes you a hostage.
It means you’re not truly present anywhere. Not at home, not on vacation, not at your kid’s recital, not at your own damn dinner table. So, I changed the culture, both in my firm and in my own head. I put up real boundaries. I made it clear to clients and colleagues that evenings and weekends were sacred. I trained my team to solve problems without needing me for every single thing. I made sure people knew that if they wanted the guy who was always available, they should hire someone else. And you know what? Not one client fired me over it. In fact, the opposite happened. I attracted better clients. Clients who respected my time. Clients who were also trying to protect their time and build a life, not just a bank account.
2. I Hired People I Could Trust — And Then Actually Trusted Them
This one took time. When you’re building something, especially something you care deeply about, it’s hard to let go. It feels easier to just do it yourself than risk someone else messing it up.
But that’s not leadership. That’s ego dressed up as responsibility. So, I got serious about hiring. I stopped trying to find warm bodies who could follow orders and started looking for people who were smarter than me in key areas. I trained them, empowered them, gave them real decision-making authority. And then I got out of their way.
That means I don’t need to be on every call. I don’t need to answer every email. I don’t need to drop everything in the middle of a family vacation to solve a crisis that someone else is fully capable of handling. Today, my firm runs with or without me, and that’s not a threat to my identity. That’s the goal.
Because that means I can be the dad on the beach. The husband at dinner. The guy cheering from the bleachers. Not the one sitting in a chair, apologizing into a phone.
3. I Rebuilt My Schedule Around What Matters Most
Most people build their lives around work and then try to squeeze in family time when there’s a gap. I flipped it. I started building my schedule around my values. Family vacations, baseball games, dance recitals, Friday night dinners, those go on the calendar first. Everything else works around them.
If something conflicts? It doesn’t happen. And no, I’m not saying that’s always easy. There are sacrifices. There are clients I’ve turned away. There are deals I’ve passed on. But I haven’t missed the big moments. Not since that day on the beach. And I’ve found that when I’m fully present in my life, I’m also sharper, calmer, and more strategic in my business. Funny how that works.
4. You Don’t Get the Time Back
Your kids only ask you to play in the ocean for a little while. Then they grow up. They stop asking. They don’t need you to build sandcastles anymore. The moments are fleeting. And when they’re gone, they’re gone. We all have responsibilities. But if you’re missing your life in the name of your career, it’s time to ask yourself: What exactly are you working so hard for? For me, the answer was always them, my wife, my kids, my family. And that day in the Caribbean, I realized that if I kept going the way I was going, I’d be building a life for them that I wasn’t even part of. So, I changed. And I’ve never once regretted it.
Have you ever had a moment that made you change everything?
